Beginnings....

I am creating this blog to release... not necessarily for other people to read. My goal is to leave people out of it and to really delve into things that I dwell on. In the last year I have become someone that I am not proud of. I want to be happy to be me again. I hope that I can regain my stridor to my step and head tilt. I am rapidly approaching the end of my second year of medical school. I sometimes wonder whether medical school was the right choice for me. But being almost halfway done, I really can not turn back now. I have already put in too much to turn back. I have worked too hard.



Medical school has been a hard reality for me. I am blessed to have the opportunity to become a doctor, yet I am often dissatisfied with my current place in life. Yet... So many people wish that they were in my place....23 and in medical school...not bad. The thing is I feel like medical school has crushed my dreams and sense of adventure. It is tying me down and I feel like I can't move. I am stuck. My parents do not relate to this and have indicated to me that I am acting beneath my age. I know I am....I feel like I have emotionally regressed in medical school. I use to be this strong kick ass person and now I cry all of the time and can't figure out what I want in life.

A person is often defined by their reactions to life's hardships. I have not been reacting well. I want to change my life and be the change that I need to be...but I often find that I am unable to change when I am so focused on trying to get the things I need to get done at the present time. Blog, this is my beginning....my opportunity to turn things around....other people don't define my life...I define my life....let's rock this thing